There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
