he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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