My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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