I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
