College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
