Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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