I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
