you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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