Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
