you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Success! We fucked roommates!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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