how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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