i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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