I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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