PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
