My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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