would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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