i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
