i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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