The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
