Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
