There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
