Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
