Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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