Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam š
Iād clean the kitchen before making food. Mark ārang in the New Yearā with some rando in there last night
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