i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
