its not stalking. its research.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
