you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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