Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
