I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
