Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
