we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
