My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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