They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
