I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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