are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
