That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
