She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
