doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
