Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
