i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
