I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
