This girl is more easily done than said...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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