i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
