Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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