Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
