Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
