She's JV to your varsity
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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