It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
