All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
