It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What drink are we having for lunch?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
