Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Randomize
